I can’t see anything except a small patch of moonlight illuminating,
among other things, a photo of my mother. Although I lived with her
for a total of twenty four years, when I imagine her face I see only
this photo: Mother’s body is turned away, but not so much that the
silhouette of her right breast and swelling belly can’t be seen. Her
head is turned toward the photographer, her face tilted upward and her
simple features showing no real emotion except maybe surprise. She is
biting her lower lip in thought and her arms are raised, fingers spread
to hold her hair off her face and neck. She isn’t wearing any jewelry,
just a man’s Oxford shirt unbuttoned at the wrists and navel.
The image always makes me want to hold her, to hold my fetal self as
I nestled under her skin.
I didn’t really leave my mother’s home until I was twenty.
Upon my graduation from the community college’s secretarial program,
I moved my four boxes of practical possessions into my own one bedroom
apartment. Mother put down the deposit and paid my first month’s rent;
after that I relied on my starting salary from a local insurance agency
to sustain me. I think Mother was proud of me, and Sunday nights I always
let her buy my dinner. She would giggle nervously when she suggested new
restaurants, apparently intimidated by the sophisticated adult world into
which she thought I’d been inducted.
By the time I moved out, Mother was certainly not the same woman that she
had been when the photograph was taken. She was overweight, with sagging
breasts, and she wore baggy sweaters with matching leggings whenever she
went out. Her hair was cut short and had lost its shine. She still wore
the engagement ring that Paul had given her, insisting that she only wore
it because it was, after all, a pretty ring, and therefore it would be a
shame to put it away. Mother never wore makeup when she was young, and
perhaps it was in compensation that she applied the same lipstick every day
of her later life—a tawny shade that she selected herself and that was a
little too orange for her heavily freckled skin.
After adolescent years of angst projected at-- and, I thought at the time,
caused by—my mother, I didn’t anticipate ever moving back in with her.
When I did it was out of necessity. I was thirty four and the lease was
running out on the apartment that I shared with my boyfriend of three years.
When my aunts decided by conference call that my mother could no longer live
alone, they asked me if, since they couldn’t sense any significant long term
plans in my life, I would accept the responsibility of her care. I took the
opportunity to break up with Jacob and went to the supermarket for cardboard
boxes.
I spent four years playing mother to the woman who raised me. I think that
my never-married mother understood that I was the one person who could not
abandon her after four broken engagements had left her wounded and lonely.
My implicit loyalty allowed her to be openly miserable in my presence; she
spent her mornings on the plaid sofa, hugging her own large body under a
woolen blanket and watching talk shows featuring men who spat and women who
shrieked. In the afternoons she napped and read tabloids or yelled out the
answers to questions on tv game shows. Twice a week I came home early to
drive her to the health clinic. Once a month we stopped at the pharmacy and
picked up refilled prescriptions. Mother’s best time was just after dinner,
which she usually helped me prepare by slicing onions or arranging frozen
french fries on cookie sheets. I remember, before rising to wash our plates,
sitting and enjoying the effect of our red wine. Mother told me about her
pregnancy and my childhood. I don’t know how much was true; when I searched
my right shin for the long scar she described as the proof of a 1970 accident,
I found nothing.
Mother’s heart stopped when she was sixty one. My aunts flew in from Key
Largo, Dallas, and Indianapolis, and I didn’t cry until my mother was
underground and the door had shut behind her sisters. I spent the next
week pulling dusty shoes out of closets and almost-empty bottles of hand
cream out of drawers. In a bureau in the back bedroom I found, carefully
folded, the red Oxford shirt from the photograph. I assume that it was my
father’s. Mother never told me his name and I never asked. I smelled it,
but after thirty eight years it smelled like her, not him.
With each item of Mother’s that I brought to the dump, I brightened.
I pawned her television and bought azaleas to plant on her gravesite.
I almost never went back after that. I prefer this: sitting in the stairwell
of my own home, in the dark, studying her photograph as it hangs in peace
on the wall in front of me.
EGK